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2009年4月24日星期五

我们的“干妈”

我们的干妈,也就是负责本班的讲师。陈讲师为人不错,只是罗嗦了点。(阿弥陀佛,他可以连续唠叨一个小时久)。今天,干妈进班给予我们“爱的辅导“。普进班披头一句就是“谁没有去年红的讲座会?”
我的好干妈啊,一个一个叫我们出去问明没有出席讲座会的原因。结果,为了不伤她老人家的玻璃心,同学们都撒谎了。T.T(有人说皮肤敏感要会去看医生、有人说家里没有大人要回去看家、有人说家里出问题了、有人说妈妈要他们回家)天啊,理由五花八门,一个还有一个夸张。结果,我内伤了。(暗暗偷笑啊,原来我的同学都是撒谎高手
锵锵!接下来轮到我啦。“那天,谁听讲座会到一半就离席的啊?”我,萱还有嘉看了彼此一眼,心照不宣啦。结果,我们就留下来给予我们的“理由”啦。清了清喉咙,“讲师,其实是因为我要出去见一位很久不见的朋友,所以我才半途离席的。嘉和萱也是被我逼去的。”(观音,如来,关公,土地公,还有所有的神仙啊!原谅我吧!我也不想撒谎啊,只是人在江湖,身不由己啊!)难道我要跟亲爱的干妈说,我们到极乐洞去参观,而且还玩的不亦乐乎吗?
所以,亲爱的干妈,原谅我这只迷途小羔羊吧。下辈子我再给你骗回去好不好?

下个星就会回家了。很期待!但是,也害怕。因为我胖了很多,也黑了很多。有时早上梳头看镜子里的我,会误以为看到一只山猪。胖胖的,黑黑的^^

最近,班上的气氛稍微缓和下来。但是谁知道下一秒又会发生什么事情。但是,学会不对自己生气。因为慢慢就不会对别人生气。我不苛责自己了,因为这样我就不会对别人苛责。慢慢要学习做人的道理,哦不!是相处之道。快乐原来就是那么简单。




想念家里了,因为有弟妹陪伴着我。喜欢和他们吵吵架,谈谈天。至少,他们不会从我身上赚取任何利益。天黑了,夜幕催醒了那颗想休息的心。。。虫鸣让思想的人儿紧揪了心。想家了,想家了,想家了....

2009年4月6日星期一

FeEl thE Blue Of LiFE


I am not begging for your concern, I am not begging for your attention, I just want find someone who can turn to....that is you.
I am an ordinary girl. As what teenegers did, I continue my study after finished my SPM. And my dad helped me choose the best way he though is the best way to success. So, I am here. I am study at Ipoh now,if everything is going smooth, I will be a teacher after 5 years.^^
Everyone say i am the apple of the god, he loves me and my life is wonderful. Everything is under my control. I should happy with what I have. But why I still not that satisfy with my life?
I am not happy as i found that I am nOt that optimistic after leave my birth place. I was well protected by my parent, family and my friends. Since I left my small society there, it hardly to communicate with other people. We all come from different places, having different family background and education status. Although we are all chinese (mean we share same races background), why still seem so tough to get know each other?
Like what Little Mango siad, once a place has more than 10 girls, there sure will be competition. Ya, compete results, assignment, clothes, accesories, boyfriend, money and many many more. Everything which can compare, they will compare. Ladies world like a stupid world T.T
Maybe they are too too too boring, need find some entertainment. But, why they want to involve the innocent people into?
Everyday, sit in the same environment with them, listen to the fucking bitch sound... You will never know how suffer am I. ( Now i am listening to their irritating sound, they are singing...). Maybe you will say, just don't bother what they say, you have to concentrate on your study. No, gosh...you never know what they will going on your back. Not really happy at here, though I smile, I laugh and chit chat like a pasar with friends here. I felt that I am still lack of something...what is that?....maybe...trust....I have try to belief others.
Wearing the mask too long, will tired too. I am so tired being pretension, stared at their faces...what are the real expression behind the smiles?
ArGhhh, i hate my feeling going blue...so blue...not like my true-self. Please, bring back myself. My friends said, I am not optimistic anymore, I smile but seldom laugh. I was told my friend that dont over protect herself. Nevertheless, I look at myself, I found that there are no differenciation between her and I. I could feel that I slowly altered, from bad to worse. Of cause, I mean my attitute have being altered a lot.
I have fall in love with raining day. Not just because can sleep during the raining day, but i could feel the sadness of the weather. Day go slowly, and I slowly become pessimistic. Why i become like this?
Because of this big society?( i think nop, cause my class not a big class)
Because I am getting mature?( I don't think so, papa say that not sign of mature)
Maybe i just....
I need not have to judge what happened to myself. And i also can't find a fair judgement to myself. Don't you think so?
Yeah, my life not empty...At least...my heart not empty....at least....
There are many way to continue my life, and i keep finding....finding.....
You choose your way to life, and I have my freedom not to belief you.....